Jonah needs your prayers. We need your prayers. It seems that the last three months are finally catching-up with us. I haven't mentioned it much on the blog, but Jonah has had an increasingly hard time adjusting to the move.
Initially, Jonah often talked about friends in Alma: Lauren, Deitrich, Sammy, Adam, Danny.... He was difficult to handle but I explained this away because he needed school, structure, playmates, activity. But school has started-- and he's gotten worse. It seems that he's angry about our move, and he's angry about his new school.
We received a letter from his teacher last week that cautiously told of his aggression with kids in his class. Then last week our sweet babysitter called me at the admissions office in tears because Jonah was having an angry meltdown and she couldn't get him to stop (it had been going on for an hour before she called).
I'm so sad for Jonah. After the babysitter left, I asked him why he was angry. He said, "I wanted some quiet time."
He's learning how to self-regulate and knowing that he can communicate his needs to us is good-- but it doesn't help when he's raging.
I've spent naptime today just perusing the internet. There are so many resources available. I even found a mom's retreat for mothers of kids with Sensory Processing Disorder. I immediately cried just thinking what it would be like to connect with other moms that have the same frustrations and concerns as myself.
Our immediate answer is a private occupational therapist. I breathe a sigh of relief just thinking about it. I'm not sure about the cost of therapy, driving 45 minutes to a pediatric facility, or paying for a babysitter for Lydia, but I do know that school's not the answer right now. We need to do something more.
I cried to a dear friend earlier this week. I'm just burdened and emotionally exhausted. I often repeat "God gave him to us because we're the best parents for him. God gave him to us because we're the best parents for him. God gave him to us because we're the best parents for him," but I hadn't really thought before about what God was teaching me by giving me Jonah.
My friend told me the answer to that question: I can't worry about what other people think.
That's hard for this people-pleasing, type A, perfectionist. I like to be liked. I want others to like my kids. I don't want others to judge me because of my son's behavior.
These thoughts consume me and wear me down.
So pray for him. Pray for Mike. And pray for me.
