My Dear Jonah

After two exhausting days with my dear Jonah, I've been thinking a lot about my parenting. Until Lydia was born, I think I doubted that I was a good mother. Jonah was so difficult that I often wondered if I made him that way. Did I give in? Not much. Did I baby him too much? No. Did I let him control me? Not really. It wasn't until I had Lydia that I discovered a lot of Jonah's behavior wasn't because of my parenting but because of his temperament.

As parents, I think it's really easy to judge other moms and dads. It's easy to say, "That kid needs more discipline" or "Man, that child needs some attention," or even, "Those parents need to be more strict." But I've learned that you can be a wonderful parent and still have a difficult child.

I do have an official diagnosis from therapists and psychologists (see Sensory Integration Dysfunction), but I still feel like a bad mom at times. Why can't my child behave like others? Then Lydia came along. She sleeps. She's content. She eats well. She plays well. And besides relaxing a little, I'm the same mom I was three years ago.

I know I can be a great mom, and he'll still throw tantrums, he'll still have difficulty with transitions, he'll still have trouble concentrating on his toys, he'll still have trouble sitting still, and he still won't respond well to discipline. I'm not trying to make excuses, but that's the way God made him.

It's hard. I try not to worry about the mom looking at us in the grocery store or the mom staring at us in the hospital waiting room. They don't know the whole story...

I guess it's a good lesson for all of us-- the homeless man, the screaming child, the defiant teenager....

We don't know the whole story.