The Dragon Lady

I don't think a librarian has ever made me cry. I almost cried today.

When I'm trying to prove a point to a stranger, I often get emotional, my heart beats faster, and my voice starts to quiver. I hate it, but that's what happens.

In November, Jonah ripped the pages out of three library books when he was supposed to be taking a nap. He was punished, and a few days later, I made him go to the library to apologize. I took my checkbook to pay for the books at that time, but the evening worker said she didn't know what to do and asked if they could send me a bill. No problem.

I received the bill for $41.00, paid it, and even noticed yesterday that the check had cleared.

Today is the first time I revisited the library. When I tried to check-out, they told me I had a $10 fee for the collection agency. I said, "I paid it and the check has cleared," not really listening to what she had said.

She replied, "No, this is the fee for the COLLECTION AGENCY." Hello? What are you talking about? Collection agency? I've never had a collection agency called on me (oh, except for that time in 1999 when Liz and I placed our electric bill in the junk drawer and didn't realize it unti the collection agency called us!)

"But I paid it immediately. In fact, I brought my checkbook the night I returned the books and she didn't know how to bill me."

At this point, the head librarian yells from her desk, "What's your name?"
"[I state my name]"
"How do you spell that?"
"[I spell it out for her]."

I couldn't help but feel the 12 eyes looking at me from the nearby computers. Actually, this story wouldn't be any big deal if I lived in a larger town where no one really knew me. But keep in mind that people know us. People know Mike. People know our name. We have a reputation.

"We contact the collection agency when you don't pay your bill in 90 days," she screams.

Now I realize that she wasn't yelling or screaming, but she was talking loudly and no one else in the library was saying a word.

My voice is quivering. "I just got the bill. I just paid it. Can you check to see when the books were due that I--"

"Give me a second to think," she interrupts. "Oh, I'll take off the charge. Computer glitch."

That's it? That's all you're going to say to me? After making me say my name and spell my name for everyone in the library. After repeating the words "collection agency" over and over again. That's all you're going to say?

They proceed to check out my new books. As I'm walking to the door I hear in a sweet voice, "Sorry ma'am for the confusion."

I want to write a letter. I don't really know what I'll say.

Perhaps "Dear Dragon Lady,...